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This is supposed to explain where I've been
This may end up being the most important thing that I'll ever write in my life. It all started with pee. Urine has been a very important liquid in my life. I don't think there are has been a day in the...
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What is a father to be to do?
So life as a father of a fetus is a lot more stressful and time consuming than I expected it to be. Just like marriage and black people, I've gotten all of my information about pregnancy and the...
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I'm not racist, I'm a sports fan.
Being sports fan means that you can honestly and truly hate someone that you have never met before just because of what they believe and how they look.It's as close to being a racist as you can get...
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Cryptic Facebook Status Explained
So I was trying to light the barbeque the other day, but without a lighter or matches. No problem, I thought to myself. I'm an Eagle Scout I should have no problem summoning fire using the skills I...
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Cast your chairs into the abyss, never to return
Gather round laddies and harken to my tale. A tale of wonder, majesty and upholstery. A story that happened to me, and if you're not careful, could happen to you. If ever in your journeys, you should...
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Real Men Don't Rant, They Blog
We got the ultrasound done a few weeks ago. I was never so excited to stare at a fuzzy screen and try to pick out body parts since I was a kid and we'd try to watch late-night premium television.Ever...
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I also suck at badmitton.
Rather than go on and on about how awesome I am at stuff, I figured I should come clean and let you guys know that there are a few things that I'm not so good at. Some may say, that I may even suck....
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Doe, a deer, a visiable deer
I've been super stressed lately, not just about work, church and my broken xBox, I been largely consumed by the fear that I won't be a good father. I mean, I've failed every fish I've had to take care...
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I'm sorry I don't update more
Dear Grant, This is your father. It's about a month before you are born. If we end up changing your name in the next couple of weeks, just stick Joseph or Abel or whatever we went with. Unless it's...
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I have, however, decided that I'll love him
As a man who could transform from a carefree turd to father at any moment, I'm spending a lot time dealing with stuff I'm not used to: like breast-pumps, onesies and my own feelings. I've also found...
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Leaf me alone
We've truly had a storybook fall here in Utah this year. Full of warm weather, beautiful colors and various little pumpkins on everybody's door step. Now however, with no more baseball to watch and my...
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Ch-ch-ch-changes
When I was a grade school, my teacher took us to the Discovery Center in Boise. It was one of those “hands on” museums where kids get the chance to learn up close and personal that science in not only...
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Premptive Critic: DayBreakers
Well it was bound to happen. These days you can't go into a Hot Topic and swing a stick without hitting some kind of new-age, gothy vampire merchandise. This new, brooding brood of the undead are big...
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Premptive Critic: The Spy Nextdoor
“Secret Agent Bob Ho (Jacky Chan) is about to face his most difficult mission ever.”Please don't be kids please don't be kids.“Babysitting.”Crappit!!! Seriously Jackie, what happened to you? You were...
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Premptive Critic: When in Rome
When in Rome, you should do as the Romans.When in a (Rome)mantic comedy, you should do as the idiots.When in a (Rome)mantic comedy, main characters must be very attractive, have incredibly cool jobs...
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Whenever my son counts I hear lightning, is that normal
Father's Note: I started this column when Grant was only two weeks old and I was super sleep deprived and still more than a little freaking out about the whole being a daddy thing. This whole mind set...
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Here we are again
Watching the US vs Ghana game on Saturday was a familiar feeling. Not a warm fuzzy familiar feeling like well-warn shoes or a hug from your grandma. It was more like the familiar sting of dentist...
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Lt. Governer, I choose you!
Whelp, it’s the second week of November which means I can finally start considering the waves of campaign signs that have infested my world for the last two months as what they really are: Red white...
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Here goes nothing
The Boy, this is your father speaking, so put down whatever you are into when I decide to read/give this to you and listen. As I write this it is July 25, 2011, you are 20 months old and have just gone...
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This kid gets it
I was hanging out with my son at the slides at the local park today (because if I hang out there without him, I get the cops called on me) and there were a couple of mothers there watching their two...
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